Britannia 2017 series review | Book Addicts

Britannia (2017 series)

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Britannia is a 2017 series now in its third season.  I honestly don’t know how this series was renewed.

Season 1

This is set in Britain 90 years after the fall of Hadrian’s Wall when the Romans left Britain in disgrace.  Two tribes are fighting each other, the Canti and the Regni.  The druids hold sway over both tribes and over all of Britain.

The Roman return led by Aulus Plautius and they are merciless.  Immediately after arriving, Plautius lets the Druid priest Varen lead him to the underworld and back.  That means Varen kills him and Plautius comes back possessed with the devil.  But this process apparently gives him knowledge of what’s to come and he’s suddenly looking for a young girl with a blind father.

2/10 stars.  Most of season 1 is murky mysticism (completely inaccurate) and boring.  Nothing in this series is historically accurate.  If you’re looking for the history of Britain reenacted, this isn’t it.

Season 2

Season 2 is about the prophecy of the maiden and the devil, a prophecy created by the Druid priest Varen.  The girl with the blind father, Cait, is the maiden.  Plautius, the Roman leader, is the devil.

Season 2 is also about the battle between two Druid priests who are brothers, Varen and Harka.  If you thought Varen was evil in Season 1 you haven’t seen anything.  Harka is worse.  At one point he kills three brothers, flaying the first two then possessing the third to kill the maiden.  The flayed brothers are hung from the trees.  Varen is on the maiden’s side.  Harka is on the devil’s side.  The two of them cast spells on various people, making human sacrifices to use them as pawns in their battle.

This is a very grotesque and graphic series.  Season 2 is worse than season 1.  There are parts that are supposed to be funny, but they’re placed in the most awkward places.  Like when hundreds of severed human heads are thrown over the walls of the castle and Varen realizes he’s lost that particular battle.  That’s not funny.  And what is up with the writer’s fascination with severed heads?  They’re all over season 2, being carried around, being sold.  In the season finale, we finally see the Lake of Tears.  The bottom is covered in severed heads.

2/10 stars.  Like Season 1 this has bizarre 1970s music and a ridiculous plot.  Plus double the gore.  Nothing in this series is historically accurate.

Season 3

In the end of Season 2, most of the little kingdoms across Britain have been destroyed by Aulus Plautius and the Romans.  There are few people left alive.

Cait, however, is still wandering aimlessly across the land constantly reminded that she’s supposed to save the kingdom.  As a heroine, she is completely underwhelming.  She can’t fight, can’t read, can’t fend for herself, and she’s constantly yelling even though she has nothing important to say.  It’s as if the writers had no clue how to write a teenage girl so they wrote a 2022 era narcissistic teenage girl into the role.

In season 3, she keeps picking up survivors of kingdoms destroyed by Plautius.  She doesn’t unite them or lead them, as the prophecy says.  So they are constantly fighting.  In fact, the infighting amongst the tribes and their petty squabbles becomes an ongoing joke.  And in the midst of them is a woman doing Plautius’s bidding, so she is trying to kill them all.

There’s plenty of gore this season and an entirely new cult to hate, one from Egypt that Plautius brings with him. In fact, Season 3 begins with Plautius sacrificing his 6 year old son to his cult.  It was quite disgusting.

Even though there seems to be a lot going on in season 3 they are unrelated events and we still don’t get anywhere.  After three seasons, this particular story arc, the maiden and the devil, which began in season 1 should have been resolved by now.  That it hasn’t been resolved at all is just sloppy writing.

Season 4 is supposed to center on the Cimbri who were never in Britain.  I won’t be watching.

0/10 stars for season 4.  Stupid unrelated scenes.  Sloppy writing.  Bad acting.  No real plot.  No historical accuracy.  Very offensive.

0/10 stars.  This started badly and got worse.  I watched it for the sole purpose of leaving a review, but had I not promised to review it, I could never have watched three seasons if this garbage.  So sloppily written.  I imagine some old white guy with the heart of a 13 year old boy wrote it.  Everyone else will be both disgusted and bored.


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